


Daughter of Xerxes

by aliceinchucks



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Family, Kid Fic, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-15 07:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4597620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliceinchucks/pseuds/aliceinchucks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed's lost all hope of ever having Winry Rockbell in his life again, after finding out the hard way what position being with him put her into. And if anyone asks, he is over her. Really. But maybe, just maybe, the little girl he meets in the science museum can provide the push these dorks need to face the facts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The window is somehow open again when Ed stumbles in the door of the apartment he shares with his brother. He crosses the room, slams it shut, and gets himself a glass of water before removing the cat from his favorite chair and slumping into it. Al's brought in the paper from this morning, so Ed snatches it from the coffee table and half-heartedly flips through to the classifieds to see if there's anything new. Predictably, there's not much. A few odd jobs, several offers with phone numbers he's already worn the apartment building's telephone buttons down from dialing, and some guy looking for a new drug dealer. He tosses the paper onto the pile with the rest as his ears pick up the sound of a key being jostled in a lock, followed by the squeak of the door opening a second time.

Al looks considerably more worn and ruffled than he did leaving the house this morning, an understandable phenomenon considering he spends the day wrangling two-year-olds. Still, he looks cheerful and manages a smile for his older brother, which Ed answers with a smaller one of his own and a nod of his head.

"The little devils treat you well?"

"One of them actually managed to punch me in the face," Al says good-naturedly as he hangs up his scarf and coat. "I think it was affectionately, though."

"Undoubtedly. I can't imagine any of the little buggers actually disliking you." He jerks his head towards the window. "That thing won't stay shut again."

"Seriously?" Al shoots a disbelieving look at the offending window. "I guess one of us'll have to look at it again."

"Yeah." There's a hanging pause when Ed knows they're both thinking about who they would rather have fix the window, someone who would have been more than willing and more knowledgeable about that sort of thing than either of them. Ed casts around for something to say that is not related to that subject.

Al finds words first, turning towards his brother with a widening smile. "I've good news."

Ed raises his eyebrows. "You found me a job?"

"Your feigned hopeful questioning was bound to pay off sometime," Al says, kicking off his shoes and plucking the cat from the armrest of the chair Ed is sprawled in. He gives her a loving scratch between the ears. "For once, the answer is yes. Or at least, potentially."

"Really? Wait, it's not at your daycare, is it?"

"No, although it was mentioned to me by one of the kid's parents, so unsurprisingly it is somewhat kid related. They're hiring at the science museum."

Ed's eyes light up in interest. "Now that, I think I could do."

 

The science museum is the kind of place Edward would have eaten up as a kid. They didn't have anything like that in Resembool, and while Cameron isn't all that big of a town, it does have a few things going for it, and a giant building with exhibits on everything from biology to industry to the science of natural disasters happens to be one of them.

The application process goes more smoothly than Ed ever even hoped, and a few days later he finds himself a member of the museum protection staff, stationed between the flying machine prototypes and the automail exhibit with the instructions to make sure no one touches anything that's not specifically interactive. While it's not the most active job he could have landed, he has to admit it could be a lot worse. Everyone mostly leaves him alone, aside from the occasional parent who wants to know the location of the restroom or a specific exhibit they want to make sure their kid doesn't leave without seeing. At least they don't expect him to smile, like the tour guide lady.

Although maybe he should have asked to be stationed somewhere else. Every kid that approaches the automail exhibit with a sparkle in their eyes floods his mind with images of Winry as a child, absorbing lessons from her grandmother with rapt attention and an understanding that should have been beyond her years. It's a memory that makes his chest a little tighter and his shift seem longer.

It's not like he needs such a blatant reminder of her for Winry to be on his mind, though. She creeps into his thoughts more often than he'd like to admit, in the wisps of blonde hair of passersby on the street, in the fresh, bright blades of grass of springtime, in the expert craft of his own left leg. It's been nearly five years, and some days are better than others, most days if you asked how he's doing he wouldn't even be lying when he'd tell you he's fine. Having Al around again certainly helps with that.

Other days, and thankfully they're becoming fewer, it's harder to find a reason to smile. He knows Al has those, too, but he's better at faking it. He's better at pushing through them and not getting bogged down. Ed on the other hand sometimes feels like he should have logically been crushed by now from the weight of all the guilt he's accumulated in his lifetime.

Of course, losing his job a couple weeks ago didn't help anything. It gave him far too much time to think. Running trials in lab didn't leave much space to contemplate anything outside of keeping the test tubes at the right temperature or writing up analyses of the latest bacteria culture. This job doesn't seem to have that same mercy.

He keeps himself occupied with people watching, since there's not much else to do. No use standing around missing Winry. It's not like she's even dead or anything. In fact, officially, he's the one who's dead. Edward Elric ceased to exist almost four years ago.

"Where's the dinosaurs?"

Ed looks down to see a couple of boys, probably nine or ten years old. Ha. So puny. He jerks his head to the left.

"Down at the end of the hall, take a left."

The boys run off in the direction he said without so much as a thank you. Ed checks his pocket watch–with a distinct lack of military insignia–and goes back to leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. Three more hours.

 

Al beat Ed home tonight; when Ed comes in he's curled up on the couch with a book and the cat. He looks up brightly when the door opens. "How was your first day?"

"Long. Uneventful. Could've been worse."

"Glad to see you're so enthusiastic about it."

Ed shrugs off his coat. "It's a whole lot better than nothing, that's for sure. I owe you one." He stretches and flops down onto the couch. "Maybe one day we'll both find jobs in fields we're actually interested in," he adds, and proceeds to commence a staring contest with the cat.

Al hums in agreement, turning back to his book. Several moments pass by quietly.

"She's sneering at me, Al. Look at her, all smug. You think you're better than me, do ya?"

"Sometimes I think she might be."

"Oh, take the cat's side, huh?"

"She lets me read in peace, for one thing. Why can't you two just get along?"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't named her after _milk_ of all things–"

" _Butter_ milk is a perfectly cute name. And it's her favorite drink."

"Milk is an abomination, regardless of butter content."

"But she's so soft. And warm." Al runs a hand down the cat's back and then holds her up closer to Ed's face. "Feel how soft and warm she is, brother."

The younger boy's smile is so eager and happy that Ed's own lips turn upwards a bit. Ever since getting his body back, Al has been such a dork about sensations. It's moments like these when Ed finds it hard to regret anything.

He scratches Buttermilk between the ears with a sigh of defeat. "Excessively soft."

 

The next day at the museum is quite busy. He guesses that Saturdays usually are. His focus has been captured for the last several minutes by two little blonde girls, one a dirty blonde and the other something brighter, running back and forth down the hallway. They're making quite a bit of noise and Ed is wondering whether it's within his jurisdiction to tell them to kindly shut up, when he notices the brighter blonde girl's face. Everything about it, from the chubbiness of the cheeks to the upturned nose to the round little chin, strike him as devastatingly familiar, and _why_ is everything reminding him of Winry as a child lately? Is this place cursed or something?

He should be over her. He should have moved on by now. _She's_ moved on, for goodness' sake. He thinks he's over her one minute, but then things like this come along and dredge up the pain as if it weren't buried beneath four years of building a new life.

What he did was for the best, honestly he believes it was. She wasn't safe with him. That was made all too perfectly clear, and he'd die before he'd ever let her go through what happened to her again.

Back when he was a kid on the military payroll, he'd inadvertently shaken up the foundations of a town called Liore by deposing a leader who had been duping his citizens for years. Ed had gone on his merry way, believing he'd done them all a nice favor, but the people had become so reliant on that leader that they didn't know what to do after he was gone, and chaos broke loose. There were riots, people ended up dead, and evidently, some of their loved ones held grudges. Not too long after Al had gotten his body back, Ed and Winry started dating, and some small group harboring resentment and keeping tabs on the young alchemist decided to exploit his weakness.

Namely, by abducting his girlfriend.

He can still remember the days he'd move through in a barely coherent haze of anger and determination, the nights he'd spend on the brink of despair and drowning in the waves of his guilt and fear. Al had come home from traveling in Xing the minute he got word of what was going on and joined in the search with the help of General Mustang's team (even though Ed was no longer military, they were more than willing to help, and for that the Elrics were very grateful). Nearly a year passed with no real results–Ed's stomach still turns with the thought of how unbearably long that was, what could have happened in that time, what maybe did happen–and he decided he had no choice but to take more drastic measures.

The team supported him for the most part–after close to a year dealing with a cryptic group who only corresponded with them thrice in that time and was unnervingly good at covering their own tracks, and still being no closer to finding Winry, they too saw it could be their best shot. So Edward Elric, former Fullmetal Alchemist, along with his brother Alphonse, stole a car and headed out on the open road to investigate a potential lead on Winry's whereabouts. Tragically, they never reached their destination. The car was a flaming wreck, bodies were produced and identities confirmed by the boys' former legal guardian Roy Mustang, a small funeral was held and attended by those who knew the Elrics well.

Or at least that's the story that was published in the newspapers and put into the boys' records. With the help of a militarily-trusted document forger, the Elrics became the Masons and retreated quietly off to a small town in southern Amestris where they took a look around and started rebuilding some semblance of lives for themselves from the dust. The group from Liore found that having Winry around wasn't much fun when the target they were meant to be tormenting was dead, so they let some crucial information leak to the military and apparently the rescue mission went off smoothly and easily, although the Liorans were nowhere to be found when Winry was. Word was sent to Ed and Al that she had been alive, though not as well as they might have hoped, but that she was being nursed back to full health. The team kept up the ruse of the Elrics being dead until they managed to track down and incarcerate the Liorans; they suspected that the group might be keeping an eye on Winry so it would not be wise to allow the girl to run back to her supposedly-dead boyfriend, and they weren't sure they would be able to stop her from doing just that if she knew the brothers were alive.

As they'd hoped, the group from Liore couldn't stay invisible forever; the information Winry managed to piece together about the time she'd spent in captivity helped them track down the culprits once and for all. By that time Winry had moved back in with her grandmother in Resembool. Ed and Al received this information in a letter from Hawkeye via the regular post; the fact that she wasn't using the team's usual underground ring of communication anymore assured the brothers that the whole thing really had blown over.

And Ed started hoping. That maybe, just maybe, with a new identity and a past wiped clean, that he could be with Winry without putting her life in danger. That they could start over together.

So he sent off a letter, explaining what they'd done and why it had been necessary, apologising, admitting that he didn't deserve a chance but if she could manage to forgive him he'd be more than willing to try again. Saying if she wanted to see them again then please write back, but he'd understand if it was too much to ask, if she couldn't risk it, if she didn't even want to anymore, and if that was the case she'd never have to hear from him again.

She didn't write back. It was weeks, and then months, and Ed knew he'd said he would understand, but that didn't make it feel any less like the foundation he'd built his hopes on without even realizing it was crumbling beneath him. He didn't know how to cope with the fact that this time he'd finally gone too far, hurt someone too much, for them to trust him with that kind of power over them again. He'd been used to feeling like the few people closest to him really would have been so much better off if they hadn't gotten their lives tangled up with his, but now he realized that he'd also gotten used to those people disagreeing with that particular sentiment. Defending him. Staying with him anyway.

He hadn't realized how much of his strength had been Winry Rockbell until she wasn't his support beam anymore.

The little girl with the brighter blonde hair seems to have run out of steam quicker than her friend, or sister, or whoever, who's still doing laps up and down the hallway like she's training for a marathon. Brighter Blonde is panting a little, and seems to have noticed that there are actual exhibits on this hallway for the first time. She barely glances at the automail display though, uninterested _(See? Winry would not have done that. You're imagining the similarities)_ , and heads straight to the aviation section, pressing her face against the glass encasing the hot air balloon model and miniature aeroplane prototypes.

 

Dirty Blonde seems to be a regular at this place, and a couple days later he discovers why, when a lady with a long-suffering expression and the same nondescript black shirt and name badge as Ed comes up behind the little girl while she's prepping for another marathon training session and tells her to calm down. Ah. A staff member's kid. That explains it. Most little kids don't hang out at a museum on a daily basis of their own accord.

The day after that Brighter Blonde is with her again. She burns out on running even quicker today, and Dirty Blonde decides to keep her company this time instead of continuing the laps on her own. Now they've both got their faces pressed to the glass of the aviation display, and he's grateful for the glass or else his job of keep kids from touching exhibits would be much more tiresome.

"Are they really real?" he hears Brighter Blonde ask the other.

"Dunno," Dirty Blonde responds. "I never seen one. Ask him."

"Who?" Ed mentally prepares himself for having to interact with a child, because he can see out of the corner of his eye that Dirty Blonde is looking in his direction. Sure enough, she points at him in response to the other girl's question.

"The guy."

"Oh."

A few moments later Ed feels a small tug on his pant leg and looks down to see Brighter Blonde clutching the material in her fist while twisting around to point at the models.

"Do they have those in real life?"

"The flying machines?"

She nods and goes back to the display, releasing his pant leg. He follows and crouches down so he's on level with the girls.

"Well, there are a few in existence, but they're still being tested. They want to make sure the technology is safe before they let people like you and me try them out."

"Oh," Brighter Blonde says thoughtfully. "That's nice of them."

Ed nods. "It is."

"What about the balloons?"

"Oh, yeah, those are great. I've never been in one, but they've been around for a while."

"It looks fun."

"It does."

"I wanna ride in one!" Dirty Blonde says, bouncing slightly up and down.

The lady who must be Dirty Blonde's mom–and maybe Brighter Blonde's too, for all he knows–comes up, stuffing her name badge into her back pocket as she walks. "Come on, girls, let's go home."

The girls instantly forget the hot air balloons, flocking to the mom like ducklings. "Was the man telling you about the exhibit?" the mom asks. "Tell him thank you."

"Thank you!" they both say in unison, looking at the floor rather than him. The mom/his coworker gives him a somewhat tired smile. He returns it. Before she turns away, though, her smile shifts, her brow creasing just slightly, and he thinks he detects something else there underneath it. Intrigue? Confusion? He's not sure. He's never been the best at reading people's faces.

Whatever it was is gone before he can think too hard about it, and she gives him a final nod before turning and heading towards the exit, her ducklings trailing behind her.

He goes back to his station and pulls out his pocket watch. It's almost time for him to clock out too. When he looks back up there's a kid trying to climb the railing in front of the photography exhibit. He curses under his breath before going over to put a stop to that particular daring endeavor.

 

The next Wednesday business is pretty slow, so the two girls have pretty much free reign to run up and down the hall without worrying about making an unfortunate collision with a museum patron. It's the first day this week that Brighter Blonde is here with her friend/sister/however-they're-related. Business must be really slow on whatever hall Coworker Mom is stationed at, because she's taken up temporary residence in Ed's hall, hovering over the girls. Every so often she glances over at Ed and he wonders if she's worried he thinks she's trying to take over his job, or something. He hopes his expression somehow communicates the extent to which he does not care.

After about an hour of this apparently she can't take it anymore. She approaches him with a somewhat nervous, friendly smile.

"Hi, I'm Julie," she says, extending a hand which Ed shakes. "Have you been working here long?"

He shakes his head. "Just a little under two weeks."

"Oh," she nods, then considers him another moment, tucks a shoulder-length lock of blonde hair behind her ear, and takes a deep breath. "This might be a weird question, but are you at all related to the Elrics?"

Ed does his best not to freeze, not to look down at his name badge which he knows for a _fact_ says 'E. Mason', not to panic. He has nothing to be afraid of anymore, right? The danger has passed, he stopped being so paranoid years ago, stopped coloring his hair, stopped looking at everyone like they might have a dagger up their sleeve. For the most part. But the Elrics are dead, and she's not even questioning that, she's just asking if he's related.

He forces his breathing to be steady and looks at her badge. 'J. Brosh.'

Wait… Now that he really looks at her… Maybe she can be trusted.

He nods. "Are you related to Denny Brosh?"

She nods back, smile becoming more assured and posture visibly relaxing. "He's my brother. Did the Elric boys talk about him?"

Ed hums a vaguely affirmative response, remembering fondly the Major's subordinate with the eager salute. He and Al fairly bullied him and his partner Ross into turning a blind eye on their antics on a few occasions. "A couple times."

Her smile widens before softening a bit, becoming a little sadder, a little more compassionate. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Oh. Right. He's a relative of the tragically deceased Elrics. He returns her smile, hoping it contains the proper amount of stiff-upper-lip-ness. "Thanks." He pauses before adding, "How could you tell we were related? I mean, we don't have the same name..." A quick gesture to his badge.

"It's the eyes," she says, pointing to her own. Ah, right. He'd forgotten his and Al's gold eyes weren't exactly common.

Julie seems to catch herself and starts to backpedal. "Not that Denny talked about Edward's eyes, or anything…" She laughs a bit self-consciously. "I mean, I'm also friends with Winry Rockbell. But I guess you figured that."

This time Ed doesn't manage to stop every muscle in his body from freezing up. She's friends with…? But then his fried brain belatedly registers the gesture that accompanied that final sentence, the way Julie glanced toward the little bright blonde girl who's given up running and is currently sitting against the wall playing some sort of hand-clapping game with her friend. _I guess you figured that._

And of course he wasn't imagining anything, and the little girl really, really _does_ look like Winry.

Ed's world tilts as he realises just how far Winry Rockbell has moved on.

He's not sure if his expression is conveying any sense of how much he had _not_ figured that, but Julie doesn't seem to notice if it is. As he's struggling to grab at the pieces of his shattering heart that _really should not be capable of shattering further than it already was,_ she bites her lip and seems to be thinking hard about something.

"You know, I hadn't really thought about it, but Winry doesn't talk about your side of the family much. At least, not in a way that gave me any indication that there were any family members on your side still alive." She looks a bit worriedly at him, but Ed just stares at her. Her words aren't making much sense, but he is beyond the capability of contributing anything to this conversation at the moment, so he'll let her talk.

"Anyway, what I mean to say is, if me bringing Sara here is painful for you at all–"

 _Sara._ The name lands heavily, rattling his bones. He sees a glimpse of a kind smile and blue eyes, a face in a photograph.

"–then I can talk to Winry about it, and see if–"

The rest of that sentence is lost on Ed. Why does she think it would be painful for him? What does a previously unknown relative of the Elrics have to do with Winry Rockbell's daughter? Unless–

Sara looks up at the sound of her own name and her mother's, momentarily distracted from her game, and Ed doesn't even have time to attempt the math on how old this kid would have to be, because after looking at Julie she turns her curious gaze on Ed. It's at that moment that Ed realises she had never really looked him in the eyes before.

Because he definitely would have noticed the brightness of those gold, gold irises.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Ed needs to sit down. There's a bench at the far end of the hall, and he heads for that on autopilot. He doesn't realize Julie followed him until he's seated and she's there, hovering next to him, confused and fretting.

"Do you want me to talk to Winry? I can–"

"No," he somehow manages to push past the tangled mass that is currently his insides. He barely recognises his own voice. "You don't need to do that."

"Okay…" She's still staring at him with that deep furrow of concern. "Are you alright? You don't look so good."

"Oh?" he glances up at her, down at his hands, at the far wall. He's hyperaware of the girls still playing down at the end of the hall. "Yeah. I think I'll take the rest of the day off, actually."

"Oh. Okay…" She's started to wring her hands, then something seems to occur to her, and she claps a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "Oh, no… Did you–?"

He glances at her quickly. "What?"

It comes out sharper than he intended. He's finding it hard to care.

She winces and removes her hand, looking at him like he's a pacing lion that hasn't been fed for days, a creature that she both feels sorry for and is wary of. Her voice is very quiet when she asks the question.

"Did you not know about Sara?"

He continues to stare at her, knowing he should respond, should say, 'No, I didn't know my family member had a kid, that's why I'm freaking out a bit,' because that would be a perfectly logical explanation for why he's suddenly become such a spazz, but he just keeps staring, and after a moment Julie keeps talking.

"I mean, it would explain why I've never seen you before." She's pacing now, hands splayed on the sides of her face. "Man, I messed up. I messed up."

Funny, that's the same mantra set on repeat in his own head right now, or the censored version of it anyway.

"How closely are you related to Edward?"

He stands up suddenly, startling Julie. "I need to go."

He starts heading for the exit, but then remembers something and pauses near the door, half-turning back around. "And do me a favor? Don't mention meeting me to Winry."

He waits until the girl nods bewilderedly before swinging open the door, and then he thinks of something else.

"How long will you be here today?"

Julie's brow creases even further, but she answers, "'Til five." He nods once and goes through the door out onto the street.

He has a phone call to make. 

* * *

 

The nearest telephone booth is about a block away, and Ed soon realizes he left his coat in the staff room, but he's not about to go back and get it. His stride is unsteady, his leg is aching with the cold, and his mind is a haze of half-formed questions, curious gold eyes, and barely suppressed panic.

He doesn't realise how badly his hands are shaking until it takes him three times to dial the number correctly, and then he presses the receiver closely against his ear. It rings once, twice…

"Cameron Child Care Center, how may I help you?"

"H-hi," he breathes. "Can I talk to Alec Mason?"

"Just a moment." The woman's voice is muffled for a second as he hears her call out, _Al! Telephone for you!_

Her voice is directed towards him again. "Here he is."

A shuffling sound as the phone changes hands. "Hello?"

Ed's heart is hammering in his throat, and he has the strange heady notion that if he talks to Al about it, then it will all be irrevocably real. At the same time hearing his brother's voice causes the knot in his gut to loosen just the slightest amount, and he knows it's also the only way he's going to get through this.

"Al," he says briskly. "Do you think you can get away for a minute?"

Al must hear his utter lack of calm, because he instantly replies with, "Yeah. Are you okay?"

Ed almosts laughs. Almost. "Yeah, just… Come down to the museum. I'll wait on the street, or whatever. I just need you to tell me I'm not crazy about something. Or, actually, I'd rather you told me I am."

He can practically see Al giving the phone a look. "I'm assuming you'll explain what that means when I get there?"

Ed makes some kind of sound he hopes is affirmative.

"I'll be right there." Al hangs up and leaves Ed clutching the cold telephone to his ear.

Back in front of the museum, Ed paces back and forth, barely even noticing the cold as a few families trickle in and out of the door. His thoughts jump between the little girl he knows is inside the building and the fact that Winry _must be somewhere near here_ , but thankfully Al doesn't keep him waiting long.

He walks up with his hands in his coat pockets and a yellow scarf around his neck, giving Ed a disapproving look. "Where's your coat?"

"Inside," Ed says impatiently, "but before we go in there and get it, one of Denny Brosh's sisters is in there, and she says that she's friends with Winry."

Al looks surprised, but not overly so. "Really?"

"Yeah, but that's not the most important part. She has Winry's _daughter_ in there."

Ed watches his brother's face, which is rapidly losing color. It's a moment before he seems to regain his power of speech.

"Winry has a daughter?"

Ed nods stiffly.

"And she's _here?_ But that means Winry's–"

"Probably somewhere around here, too, yes."

The shock on Al's face is slowly morphing into something like concern. "Brother, I'm sor–"

"Shut up, Al." He's pitying Ed, he can tell. Pitying the fact that Winry has moved on and started a family of her own. Al shuts up, but he can't erase the sympathy from his face.

"Let's go get my coat."

Al follows his brother quietly into the side door that the employees take to enter the building. Ed leads him through several hallways, noticing that even with a lot on his mind Al can't help but to glance around with intrigue at the various exhibits. When they get to Ed's hallway, the girls and Julie Brosh are still there, though Julie is a fair ways down the hall. Ed glances at Al, whose interest is wholly captured by the little bright blonde girl coloring a picture on the floor.

"Al," Ed says quietly, so Julie won't hear and start asking more unnecessary questions, "this is Winry's daughter, Sara."

The name has the same effect on Al as it did on the older brother, if the way he quickly glances at Ed before turning back to the girl is any indication.

Again Sara looks up at the sound of her own name, and Ed is so captured by those eyes that he forgets to watch for Al's reaction. But now Julie has noticed them and is heading over, a bit of friendly confusion on her face, so Ed grabs Al's arm and starts dragging him back the direction he came, towards the staff room. He is not in the mood to be questioned right now.

There are a few employees hanging out in the staff room, so Ed drags Al into the connecting restroom, ignoring the curious looks they're getting. The restroom is mercifully empty. Ed leans against the sink with his arm crossed, watching his brother warily. Al stares straight ahead, seemingly uncomprehending of what his eyes are looking at, and Ed wonders if he even realises he's been dragged into the bathroom.

Ed decides he'll let Al break the silence, which he does after several moments, the blank look still on his face and his voice hollow. "That… changes things."

Any half-crazy hope Ed may have had that he was just imagining things, blowing them out of proportion, that maybe Al would come to a different conclusion than he had, fizzles away.

"What do I do, Alphonse?" Ed asks hopelessly.

Al leans his head back against the stall. "You go find Winry."

"Are you crazy?" Ed asks incredulously. "You know as well as I do she doesn't want to see me. She could be married by now, or at least living with someone else."

"We could ask Sergeant Brosh's sister."

"Yeah, that wouldn't be an awkward conversation at all."

"It doesn't _matter_ if it's awkward!" Al finally stops staring into space to look his brother in the eyes, and Ed is slightly taken aback by the intensity of that gaze. "This changes everything, Brother. Don't you see that? You can't just ignore this. She's your _daughter._ You have a _kid_."

He has a kid. He's a _father._ The word would be frightening enough on its own without thinking about all of the connotations. If Sara is his kid, which he has very little doubt that she is, then that means that Winry gave birth during that year she spent captive of those creeps. Who knows what kind of help she had, if any? He spent enough sleepless nights that year worrying about how she was doing without even knowing that she was _pregnant_ the whole time.

Maybe some of the shittiness Ed feels shows on his face, because Al's gaze softens, and he sighs. "I know it's a lot to take in right now, Brother, but you know it's what you're gonna have to do eventually."

"I know," Ed says miserably, kicking the trash bin by the door. That helps a bit. He kicks it again, harder. "Dammit. I fucked up. I'm a fuckup, I'm no better than _Hohenheim,_ for fuck's sake. I can't–"

Al grabs hold of the arm he had subconsciously braced to punch the wall. Ed stares at it as if betrayed.

"This is different," Al says sternly. "You didn't know. But you do now. You're getting a chance to do better than he did."

"You don't know that. You don't know she'll give me a chance. I don't know I'd even be up for the job if she _did._ "

"You can find out, at the very least."

Ed can practically hear the words Al doesn't add to that statement, the ones he's communicating with his steely gaze. _Or you can walk away, and let Sara grow up fatherless, like we did._

Ed droops, letting his hand fall to his side. Al wraps him up in a hug that Ed fairly sags into, closing his eyes. When he speaks, his voice is embarrassingly weak.

"How am I gonna face her, Al?"

"Winry, or Sara?"

"Yeah."

Al chuckles gently, releasing his brother. "Well, you can start by going out that door." He jerks his head toward the bathroom exit.

After a long moment Ed nods.

They receive a few odd looks when they emerge from the bathroom, and Ed belatedly realizes he probably made quite a racket, kicking and cursing up a storm in there. He sends a glare to the room at large.

"That's not exactly how you make friends with your coworkers, Brother," Al chides once they're out of the staff room and headed back to Ed's station.

"Yeah, well you don't see them trying to make friends with _me._ "

"I couldn't imagine why."

Ed casts his dirty look upon his beloved little brother this time, but by now they've reached the hall where Ed's station is. It only takes a quick glance to see that the girls and Julie aren't here. He curses under his breath, pulling out his pocket watch. It's not even close to five, where are they?

They walk down a few more halls before he spots them, in the hall with the alchemy section. Julie is standing against the wall while the kids finish their coloring pages on the floor. So this must be where her station is.

Al walks straight up to her, Ed hurrying to catch up and avoid bumping into the museum-goers. Julie opens her mouth in question, but Al beats her to it. "I'm his brother," he says with a nod in Ed's direction.

Julie closes her mouth. "I thought you said you were taking the day off," she says to Ed.

"Yeah, well…"

"Forgive me if this sounds odd," Al cuts in, "but is Winry in a relationship right now?"

A line forms between Julie's brows. "No… She doesn't have much time for dating, what with Sara and her job and all."

Ed violently smothers the little bubble of hope struggling to rise in his chest.

"I see," Al says calmly. "Does she live in Cameron?"

Julie looks back and forth between the two brothers, her frown deepening warily. "I'm sorry," she says. "But this is getting dangerously close to stalker territory."

Oh, great, she's clamming up. Ed doesn't have the patience for this.

"Julie, my name is Edward Elric, this is my brother, Alphonse, and we'd really like to know where Winry is living."

She gapes at them. Al pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I really don't think that's helping our case, Brother."

"Well, she wasn't gonna tell us!"

"And you think she's gonna tell the absentee father of her friend's child where her friend is living?"

"Better than the previously unheard of, related-in-some-unknown-way family members of the absentee father of her friend's child–"

"Are you really him?"

The brothers freeze in the middle of their argument, both turning to look at Julie. She's staring at Ed with a fair amount of skepticism but also a little… awe? He nods infinitesimally.

"Can you prove it?" she asks.

Ed tugs at the base of his ponytail, grimacing. "I… don't think so? All my papers are falsified."

Her eyebrow arcs upward. "That's inconvenient."

He snorts. "You're telling me. We had to go through so much shit to get th–"

"Brother. Focus."

"Right," Ed says quickly. "I can't show you any ID, but I can tell you things about Winry, probably–"

"How does she like to take her coffee?" Julie asks.

Ed blinks. "She doesn't."

The eyebrows raise again, the doubt is back full-force. "She does now."

He stares blankly. A ball of panic forms in the pit of his stomach that the Winry Julie knows is not the Winry he knew, that she's changed beyond his recognition, beyond his reach, and he's suddenly acutely aware of just how long five years really is. Al, who apparently knows him too well, murmurs quietly, "It's just coffee, Brother."

Julie sighs. "Look," she starts. "She doesn't talk about it much, but she's been through a lot of crap. I just don't wanna… cause her more pain."

Ed's not sure what to say to that. Besides ' _You have a good point, let's just call the whole thing off.'_

One of the kids behind them bursts into a fit of giggling, drawing Julie's attention. She watches them for a moment, frowns, looks torn. Ed's not sure exactly what she sees over there besides little girls playing, but whatever it is seems to make up her mind. She takes a deep breath. "I get off work in about half an hour. After that, I can take you to her house. _But–"_ she adds quickly when she sees the look of gratefulness blooming on the brothers' faces. "If she doesn't know you, or even if she does and she doesn't want to see you, you will leave immediately." She gives them both a hard look, daring them to argue. "Understood?"

The boys nod in unison.

* * *

 "So what part of my brother's utter lack of proof convinced you that we were telling the truth?"

The five of them are all crammed into Julie's husband's beat-up car, Julie driving with Ed riding shotgun and Al, Sara, and Julie's daughter (whose name is apparently June) in the back. Winry, as it turns out, does not live in Cameron, and neither does Julie's family; they both live in a small, fairly rural town about a half hour drive away.

"Well, maybe I'm a fool, but he seemed a lot more honest when you two were trying to convince me you were the Elrics than when he was pretending to be their 'relative'. No offense, but that performance kind of dissolved when you started getting all jumpy and evasive," she said, eyes darting over to Ed for a second before returning to the road. "That, and the poor boy looked like he was about to have a breakdown when I told him Winry drinks coffee." She chuckles, a strained sound, and Ed can tell she's still not entirely comfortable with this.

She's not the only one. Ed has considered multiple times telling her to pull over and turn around. The only thing stopping him from doing just that is he's not entirely sure he wouldn't throw up if he opened his mouth.

The little girls have been talking quietly to each other for several minutes, probably not paying attention to the adults' conversation, but now June pipes up. "Mommy? Are we taking the museum guy to our house?"

"We have to drop Sara off at her house, hun. These two gentlemen are coming to visit Sara's mommy."

"Mama will be happy," Sara says. "She doesn't get visitors except for work and Miss Julie."

"What's your mama's work?" Al asks.

"She makes arms and legs and stuff for people who don't have them."

"That's very nice of her," Al says with a pointed look into the rearview mirror that says, _See, some things haven't changed._ Ed just catches Sara nodding before he turns to stare out the window.

The car ride is both endless and over too soon. They pull up on a gravel driveway (after the roads they've been driving on, he's starting to understand why the car is in less-than-stellar condition) in front of a small but fairly well-maintained white house. As medically implausible as it sounds, Ed is pretty sure his heart is actually in his throat.

Winry is outside, taking laundry down from the clothesline. As he watches, she pulls down the last shirt, bends to pick up the laundry basket and rests it on her hip. Even through his panic, Ed can't help but appreciate how she's beautifully grown into every gentle curve of her frame since he last saw her.

"Do you two wanna go together and give her a real heart attack, or take it one at a time?" Julie asks.

"Maybe you and the girls should go greet her first," Al suggests, and Ed notes that even he sounds uncertain now.

"Probably a good call," Julie says, opening her door before letting Sara out of the back. Winry turns, smiling brightly at them and kneeling down to scoop her daughter up and balance her on the hip that isn't supporting a laundry basket. They talk for a bit, Winry appears to be thanking Julie, Julie looks like she's saying goodbye and heading back to the car, Sara squirms until Winry puts her back down.

Julie opens the door, climbs back in, and says, "Showtime. I'll be here in the car, but only for as long as it takes to gauge whether or not she needs me to take you away. If she doesn't kick you out while I'm still here, you're probably gonna need to find your own ride back." Ed nods, turning to his brother. Al offers him an encouraging smile.

"You go ahead," he says. "I'll wait a bit back here with June."

"Al!"

"No, really. Like Julie said, we don't want to give her more of a heart attack than she already has coming."

As it is, Winry's already glancing at the car curiously, probably wondering why Julie hasn't driven off yet. Ed takes a deep breath. "Alright, you bastard, but you better not just sit there and watch." Julie glances at him sharply and he wonders why until he remembers June's sitting back there with Al. Right. Language. Kid. Bad.

"What else am I supposed to do, dear brother?" Al asks innocently.

Ed ignores him and opens the door, stepping out onto the driveway. The gravel crunches beneath his shoes. By the time he musters up the courage to look at Winry directly, she's already staring at him. He offers her a hesitant smile.

"Hey, Win."

The laundry basket drops to the ground, a few clothes on top spilling out onto the grass. She claps both hands over her mouth.

"Mama?" Sara is clinging to her mother's leg, looking up at her in confusion.

"Baby, head inside, okay?" Winry says shakily after a few moments, never tearing her eyes from Ed's face. "I'll be there in a minute."

Sara looks over at Ed and scowls before running off into the house. He watches her go before returning his gaze to Winry, and that's when he realizes she's crying.

Then she's walking towards him, slowly, as if she's afraid to make any sudden movements, and he's walking around the front of the car towards her. He starts to reach his arms out to draw her into a hug, and the next moment he's doubled over with a sharp pain throbbing in his head.

When the blackness fades from the corners of his vision, he squints up to see Winry towering over him, wrench in hand and tears streaming down her face.

"What the hell, Winry!"

Her rather menacing expression dissolves and she lets her hand drop the slightest amount. "Is it really you, Ed?"

Ed grumbles as he straightens. "Of course it's–mmph!" His last word is swallowed by her hair as she pulls him into a bone-crushing hug. He can feel every wound-tight muscle in his body start to relax with relief.

"But–how?" Winry murmurs into his collarbone, her voice still rough with tears. "I don't understand…"

Ed frowns, a bit thrown off. "I ran into Julie at the science museum and she said she knew–"

"Not _that,_ you big dummy!" She pulls back to look at him, her gaze shifting from one of his eyes to the other, back and forth, as if she's searching for something there. "I mean _how?_ You're dead! You _died_!"

A cold feeling settles into the pit of Ed's stomach. "You… didn't get my letter?"

Winry's brows draw together in complete bewilderment, before gradually smoothing out, understanding dawning on her face. "Ed," she says, somehow drawing out the syllable slowly, dangerously. "Please tell me you didn't stake my knowledge of your very survival on one measly, flimsy letter."

Add this to the list of things he's screwed up royally.

"You let me think you were _dead_! You couldn't even _visit_?" By now Winry's let go of him, staring at him in disbelief.

"I wrote in the letter that you only had to reply if you'd be willing to see me again!" Ed defends. "So when you didn't answer, I thought that meant–"

"Was all of this, this whole thing, some kind of military _stunt_?"

"Yeah, to save your _life–_ "

"Wait," Winry pauses, a mixture of hope and dread in her blue eyes. "What about Al? Is he…"

"In the car," Ed mumbles. Her eyes widen even further and land on the vehicle in question.

Al, who of course has been watching this whole time, takes this as his cue to make his appearance, emerging from the far door and gripping the roof of the car with one hand as if for support. He gives a wave with the other, smiling broadly. "Good to see you, Winry!"

She bursts into tears again. "I'm gonna kill you _both_!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Al, would you quit smiling already? You're just making her angrier."

"I can't help it! I'm just glad everything's gonna be okay."

Winry snorts, her arms crossed over her chest. "That might be a little hasty."

"Trust me on this one, Win."

Julie rolls down her window. "Hey, Winry, you gonna be alright? I really should get back home."

"You're gonna leave me alone with these two jerks?" Winry gives her a desperate look. "I don't have a car!"

"I could take them back to their own homes now if you want."

"Oh, no," Winry shakes her head. "Not just yet. I haven't grilled them enough."

"Well, then the best I can do is drop by tomorrow morning," Julie offers. Winry glances helplessly at the brothers before looking away quickly.

"If you want," Ed offers quietly, "Al and I can check into a hotel. We'd be fine."

Winry turns away, waving her hand dismissively. "We'll work something out," she mutters. Then louder, toward the car, "Thanks, Julie! See you tomorrow." Julie gives a salute and an apologetic smile before backing out of the driveway. The three of them stand there in the yard for a moment. Winry wipes her face.

"I… better go check on my daughter," she says, gesturing vaguely toward the house. "You two come on in."

As soon as they enter the house, Sara runs up bearing the coloring page she completed at the museum. "Look, Mama!"

"Oh, how pretty!" Winry kneels down to inspect it. Ed sees that it's, vaguely, a hot air balloon. While Winry is inspecting her picture, Sara glances warily at Ed and Al. Ed suspects that the tentatively friendly relationship he established with her at the museum was probably ruined when he made her mom cry. "Why don't you go put it on my bench and I'll hang it up with the others?" Winry suggests. Sara nods and runs off.

"Cute kid," Ed comments. Al stares at him as if he's just lost his mind. Is that such a weird thing to say? Ed can't find any problem with it.

"Yeah, well I can only take half the credit for that," Winry says wryly, straightening.

"Are you kidding? She looks just like you," Ed says. "How old is she? Four?"

Winry nods. "Since July." Ed's not sure if he's imagining it or if she seems suddenly… tired. In any case, she looks like she wants to change the subject. But as he watches, all signs of weariness vanish from her face and she offers them both a slightly embarrassed smile. "I wasn't planning on having four for dinner, so excuse me if I'm a little unprepared for guests. I'll go see what I can put together."

Okay, now he knows something's off. He can't think of a single time Winry has ever taken that polite tone of voice with them. A quick glance at Al confirms he's not the only one who noticed.

He suspects they have no choice but to await their doom.

During dinner Winry alternates between asking them how they've been spending the past four years or so and coaxing Sara into eating her food. Ed tells her about the various jobs he's gone through, including the lab he was working at until it lost its funding, which led him to eventually end up at the museum in Cameron. Al's gone through a comparable amount of jobs himself and tells her about his time in Xing, or at least the part that hasn't already been communicated in letters, all those years before. Ed realizes their lives have become categorized by a series of drastic befores and afters: before and after mom died, before and after the failed transmutation, before and after the promised day, before and after Winry was taken.

Winry tells them how she was living with Granny until the customers started running dry and she moved to Rush Valley with Sara. There she worked and saved until she had enough money saved up to move out of her employer Garfiel's shop and put a payment down on this house, and she's been seeing customers from here since a few months ago. All throughout dinner she is very courteous, listens attentively when they're speaking, and treats them as regular house guests.

He wishes she would start yelling again.

After dinner she refuses their offer to help clean up and shoos them all out into the living room, asking Al to keep an eye on Sara. Ed tries not to be hurt by that, figuring that logically she would ask Al knowing that he works with little kids every day. Sara glances between them, looking uncomfortable. "So you two are Mama's friends?"

Al nods, smiling. "We knew each other back before you were born."

She still looks unconvinced, landing her gaze on Ed, a frown twisting her face. "Then why did you make her cry?"

Ed slumps onto the couch, eyeing the little girl. His own flesh and blood. It's a sobering thought, to say the least. He figures he might as well be honest with her, knowing it can be frustrating as a kid to be lied to as a matter of course simply because adults assume you wouldn't be able to understand. "She cried because she thought she would never see me again. And because I had broken her trust, by letting her think that."

"Oh." Sara considers this for a moment. "Did you say you're sorry?"

His mouth pulls into a bleak smile. "I think she knows."

She shakes her head at him. "You have to say it. Mama says always to say sorry. I think it counts 'specially if someone cries."

Ed looks at the stubborn set of her mouth, her arms crossed over her chest. "Maybe you're right. I'll be sure to tell her, 'kay?"

She nods. "Okay."

"So what is it that you usually do when your mama is cleaning up from dinner?" Al asks.

Sara shrugs. "Sometimes I stay in the kitchen with Mama. Or I come out here and play, or read."

"You can read?" Ed asks with interest. Sara nods, a proud grin on her face.

"I'm good at reading!"

"That so? You'll have to show me sometime," Ed says.

"I can show you now!" Sara runs off to the bookshelf and comes back with a thick hardback. Ed glances at the cover, which reads _Weapons Technology_ in bold print. He almost chokes on a laugh.

"Is this what you learned to read with?"

Sara nods. "Granny let us use some of her books because she said she didn't need them anymore. Only she's not my _granny_ granny. She's my great-granny, but it's okay to call her that because I don't have a granny-granny, so no one gets confused."

"You were named after your grandmother, weren't you?"

She looks up from the book cover at Ed. "Did my mama tell you that? Did you know her, too?"

Ed smiles. "Not well. She died when I was young. She was a very brave, kind woman."

"Like my mama."

His smile takes on just a tinge of sadness. If he could take away half the things in Winry's life that ever required her to be brave, he would in a heartbeat. "Just like your mama."

Sara nods, turning back to her book. Opening the cover, she reads a few lines from the first section, and while she speaks a bit slowly, her careful pronunciation is impressive. It's a bit odd hearing technical lines about weaponry from a little kid, and Ed is reminded of when he and Al learned to read using their father's alchemy books.

When she's done, she looks up at him expectantly. "Wow, that's great," he praises. "You're really smart." Sara beams, and Al chuckles. Ed glances over at him, raising an eyebrow. His brother has a funny smile on his face. "What?" Ed asks. "That was good."

"Nothing," Al says, though his smile widens as he says it. "Just, you should see the look on your face. You'd make the peacock seem downright ashamed."

While Ed splutters, trying to find some way to respond to that, Sara trots back over to the bookshelf and returns the book. By the time she gets back Al has moved on. "Will you be going to the museum again tomorrow, Sara?"

"Depends on how she's feeling in the morning," Winry says, coming in the room while drying her hands on her skirt.

"I feel fine, Mama!"

"We'll see tomorrow, baby," Winry says in a way that suggests that this is far from the first time they've had a conversation like this. Ed is still getting used to seeing Winry act like such a… well, a mother. Sure, she always fretted over the boys and scolded them like a mom, but this is different somehow.

And looking at her subtly tense, drawn face, he suddenly understands why she's been acting so distant since before dinner. She doesn't know how to be both the Elric brothers' best friend, the emotional girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, and Sara Rockbell's mother, a woman who has had to learn to be strong and capable for her little girl. Sure, Ed and Al both know that there is strength behind their friend's tears, but it's different for a child watching her mother cry. Winry is trying to hold herself together for Sara, and she's apparently decided that the best way to do that is to build up a wall between herself and the brothers.

"I don't have a spare room, but if you two don't mind we can roll out blankets for you on the floor of the workshop, and I have a couple extra pillows," she says cheerfully.

"That sounds great," Al says appreciatively. "Thanks, Winry."

"It's no problem," she answers before placing her hands on her hips and addressing her daughter. "Now, I think it's about time for you to go to bed, little lady."

The resulting whine is instant. "But I'm not tiiired."

"You want to be strong in the morning, don't you? Then you need to get your rest."

"But I don't _want_ to."

"No more buts. Bedtime."

Sara crosses her arms and seems to be casting around for one last argument to hold on to. Her eyes alight on Ed and Al. " _They_ don't have to go to bed."

For a second Ed has to wonder if she really thought that one was going to work. Winry is having none of it. "They're grown-ups. When you're their age, you can make your own bed time."

Sara sends Ed a calculating look. "How old are you?" Ed attempts to hold in a laugh.

"Twenty-three."

She looks absolutely despairing. "That's too old!"

"I'm only twenty-two," Al offers. Sara doesn't look too comforted. She sends the two of them an entreating look. She might as well challenge their loyalty outright, it's so clearly a test to see if they are worthy of maintaining her good favor.

"It is pretty early, Winry," Ed points out. She sends him a wide-eyed stare of death, that warns, _Don't you dare go against me on this._ "I mean," he clears his throat and tugs on the base of his ponytail. "What I meant was, she should definitely go to bed. In fact, I'm feeling a little worn out myself, aren't you, Al?"

Al yawns hugely. "Oh, yeah, it's been a long day."

"I think I'll probably head to bed, too," Ed says, stretching. "Why don't we set up the blankets in your workshop while you put Sara to bed?"

"Good idea!" Winry agrees. "Come on, Sara."

The little girl is eyeing the two brothers, looking positively betrayed, but once they stand up from the couch and it's apparent that everyone really is going to bed and not leaving her out, her pout lessens. "Okay," she relents, reaching up and taking her mother's hand.

"Blankets and pillows are in the closet," Winry says over her shoulder as she takes her daughter down the hallway. Just before they turn the corner, though, Sara twists around and finds Ed's eyes. She mouths one word, her lips exaggeratingly forming the two syllables, punctuated by a significant glance at her mom. _Sorry._

Right. She won't let him forget his promise so easily. He gives her a nod and a small, reassuring smile, and then she's out of sight.

He and Al find the blankets in the closet and glance in a couple doorways until they locate Winry's workshop, on the opposite side of the kitchen from the bedrooms. The familiar smell of steel and machine oil floods Ed's nostrils and makes him feel right at home. They roll out the blankets and sit on them, facing each other.

"She seems to like you," Al says.

"Sara?"

"Yes, Sara, Brother. I think we've long ago established that Winry likes you."

Ed looks down at the blanket, drawing his knees up slightly closer to his chest. "Yeah, the same way she likes a reasonably amiable client."

Al glances towards the door in the direction of the bedrooms, a small line forming between his brows. "Just give her time. This is a lot for both of you to take in."

Ed sighs and lays back on his blanket. Several minutes later Winry pushes the door open, knocking courteously on it as she does so. "Will this be okay?" she asks, surveying the room.

"Yeah, this is more than fine," Al says. "Thanks, Winry. We're really sorry for dropping so suddenly on your doorstep like this."

Winry tries to smile, but it ends up a little warbly, and for the first time since before dinner Ed sees a small crack appear in the mask she's donned. "Yeah. Don't worry about it."

"Winry," Ed starts. "Can I talk–"

"Goodnight, Ed," she says quietly but in such a deliberately calm way that it effectively cuts him off. "Goodnight, Al. Get some rest."

"Wait, you weren't really expecting us to go to bed this early–"

"I think I'll go to bed, too," she says as if he hasn't said anything. "I'll see you two in the morning."

"Winry–!"

She turns away, ducking her head quickly as she goes out the door in a way that Ed knows can only mean she doesn't want him to see her expression. Just as he jumps up from his blanket-bed, the door swings shut in his face. He shoots an exasperated look at Al.

"Is this one of those situations where I'm supposed to go after her, or give her some space?"

Al shrugs uncertainly. "You can never be sure, but it seems like you've given her enough space the past five years." His eyes widen slightly as soon as the words are out of his mouth. "I didn't mean for that to sound–"

"No. You're right," Ed cuts in. "I'll be back."

When he gets into the living room, Winry is there, huddled on the couch. It only takes a moment for him to realize she's crying. Quietly, but he can see her tear-stained cheeks as she notices him over the tops of her knees. He approaches slowly, taking a seat on the couch next to her and pulling his legs up to sit sideways facing her. She continues to watch him in silence.

He takes a deep breath. "Winry…" And stops, wondering now what he even has to say. 'I'm sorry' doesn't seem like it could possibly be enough to cover what she's had to go through because of him.

She sighs, seeming to realize he doesn't know how to go on. "Why did you come here, Ed?" she asks tiredly. He blinks at her and considers how best to answer that. He supposes now would not be the best time to say that Al basically forced him into it.

"I…" _Found out about Sara._ But suddenly the implications of that sound too much like a promise, and the words freeze in his throat.

Winry sits up a little straighter and folds her legs criss-cross. "Tell me something, Ed. Since you changed your identity, what is the longest time you ever stayed in one place?"

He frowns. "I guess… six months or so? Usually we'd only stay for a couple months at a time."

"Was that for your protection?"

He's really not sure where this topic is going. "Yeah, sometimes… other times we just had to _move_ , you know?"

She looks at him and nods, slowly. "I do. I know exactly, Ed." Her voice is clear despite the remnants of tears, and she meets his eyes directly. "So I ask you again, why did you come here? Tell me honestly."

And this time Ed hears the underlying doubts and fears in that question. Does he intend to stay this time? Does he mean to be a real part of Winry's life, and Sara's? He's not sure she's giving him a chance to, but he suspects that his answer to this question will be a large factor in her decision of whether to give him one or not. He's never broken a promise before, and he's not sure if saying he's home for real this time would be a promise he would be able to keep. It's all so much to think about, so fast.

"Honestly?" he starts, rubbing at a spot on his temple that is slowly developing a headache. "This morning I didn't even know you had a kid. And I sure as hell didn't know she was _mine._ It's just… I don't know, okay? I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing here. I just knew I had to find you."

Winry is quiet for a moment, and when Ed raises his head she's looking in the direction of Sara's room. "I was going to tell you," she says softly. "You know, before… everything. I had just recently found out I was pregnant. I was so scared, and I didn't know if it was something that you wanted, but at the same time, I was excited, you know? I was proud to be having your baby. I was so far beyond caring what everyone else might think, because I knew we could face whatever came our way, together."

Ed feels like the absolute worst kind of person. "I'm so sorry." At least he sounds at least half as sincere as he is. Winry's eyes slide over to his face, and she looks sad, but not accusing.

"Sara has had to go through things neither of us did as kids. I'm not saying that to make you feel worse, because I know you're probably already hating yourself, and what she went through early on was not your fault. I just want you to understand her better." Winry looks at her hands and bites her lip before going on. "When she was born I was living in the basement of a couple who absolutely hated you, and didn't feel too guilty taking it out on me. They didn't hurt me _physically_ all that much," she hurries to add, "but they didn't let me out of that basement, and well… sometimes they forgot to give me food."

Outrage rises up under Ed's skin, clawing at the surface and threatening to break free. Apparently some of his fears about what happened during that year were founded. But Winry isn't done yet, and he forces himself to maintain some semblance of calm and listen.

"So when Sara was born, she was... pretty severely malnourished. Her lungs hadn't developed fully and she was so small and weak. Even now she still tires out very quickly and gets sick easily. That's why some days I don't let her go to the museum. It's good for her to spend time with her friend, since she doesn't get a lot of chances to meet other kids, but it's really a strain on her. Some days I can just tell she's not gonna be up for it."

Ed springs off the couch, his fists clenched. Knowing Winry's little girl has had to live with this because of someone's grudge against him makes him simultaneously feel positively sick to his stomach and want to beat the daylights out of that particular someone. He still has so many questions, and he's not sure he wants to know the answers, but not knowing does not change the reality of the past. The events of today have proved that point if nothing else.

"What exactly do you mean by they didn't hurt you _all that much_?"

Winry wipes her eyes. "I mean they didn't hurt me all that much," she sighs. "I'm tired, Ed. I don't really want to talk about this anymore. Not right now." Ed stares at her. She pulls herself to her feet, swaying slightly and looking so soft and sleepy that he has the sudden impulse to draw her close and kiss her. He doesn't, though. That's not his place anymore. He's lost that right.

She pulls the corners of her lips up. "I really am glad you're alive. More than I know how to say. I still can hardly believe it."

"I have the sudden urge to burn down the Resembool post office."

She chuckles weakly. "Me too. But unfortunately that would not solve any of our problems and only result in more lost mail."

"Might be worth it."

The top of her head is pretty close to his eye level, and even though neither of them has grown taller since they were eighteen, Ed's still not entirely used to looking _down_ at her. Her clear blue eyes are gazing slightly up at him, and she's every bit as stunning as she was when she was his, maybe even more so. Her gaze drops the smallest amount and for a second he imagines that she's thinking of kissing him, too, but then the moment is over and she meets his eyes again.

"We really should get to bed. I have a client in the morning and you need to go to work."

It's not late, and they both know it, but Ed nods. "Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Ed."

She turns to go, and Ed's afraid he's completely missed his chance of steering this conversation in the right direction. The way he answered her questions, he wouldn't be surprised if she's assumed he'll be skipping town the next day. And he definitely doesn't want her to think that. He may not know entirely what he's getting into, but he can't leave her thinking that. He just needs time. He calls her name.

She turns. He's not used to choosing his words carefully around Winry, and honestly he doesn't like it one bit, so he pushes aside the fear of saying something that could be interpreted as a promise he might not be able to keep and speaks. "Al and I, we're not planning on leaving Cameron anytime soon. We only just got here, after all."

It might not be a solemn oath to stay by her side for all eternity, but at the moment Winry seems to appreciate it. She smiles, tired but genuine. "I'll see you in the morning, Ed."

He nods. "Sleep well, Winry."

But as he heads back into her workshop, he's not sure he is going to be able to get much sleep tonight himself.


End file.
